noun – wellbeing the state of being comfortable, healthy, or happy
Today, my son made eye contact with another mum and initiated a good morning conversation. The text message from the mum, a family friend for years, brought tears to my eyes and melted my heart. She knew I needed to hear it. My well-being needed it.
I have focused on my children’s well-being for the past 10 years and this year, I am focusing on my own. I’m not saying that in a selfish way, but in a self-care way and hopefully in a way that models to my children how their self-care will lead to lifelong wellness.
My children are both in schools where they feel comfortable and safe. This wasn’t an easy journey, and like a roller coaster, the spirals down left us all feeling ill in the stomach, but when you hit the highs, you can see so much of the view and what is possible. By no means, was this journey done alone. The number of supporters we have had along our journey has been incredible, from medical professionals, family members, friends with kids who have similar profiles and friends who don’t understand my journey but understand my need to cry at random and different milestones and who nod and listen and give me a hug.
So, this year I am trying to become more comfortable, healthy and happy. Google dictionary, I am taking your OR and raising you to AND!
Comfortable. I am going to be more comfortable talking about my kids’ neuro diversity and asynchronous development. Yes, he can be gifted and have rubbish handwriting! I’m not going to shy away from my family’s normal in all it gory intricacies. I am going to model this to my children. I want them to see that I am comfortable with who they are and they should be comfortable too.
Healthy. I am going to go to the gym (for classes and not just the coffee shop). I am going to make sure I look at my diet as carefully as I look at my kids’. I am going to watch myself talk, treat my foibles with humour and love and cut myself some slack when perfection doesn’t quite happen. I am going to model this to my children. I want them to see that I am healthy in body and mind and that is something they can strive for and control too.
Happy. I am going to embrace our journey. I’m going to surround myself with the love and happiness of my tribe. I’m going to share their joys, be it a kid making eye contact for the first time, or a 6-year-old triple grade skipping or laughing about how your kid might be better at doing your taxes than your accountant. I also know that you can’t to be happy all the time, but by developing a love of contentment and revelling in the golden happiness of those key moments, I hope to build my resilience for the hard times. I’m going to model this to my kids. I want them to see that am content and happy and can share in the joys of others. I want them to see that I am resilient, even when those moments of happiness seem to be too far apart but be secure in the knowledge that another happy moment will come along.
I don’t know how much I’ll stick to, but it’s good to have a plan, so here’s to 2020 and my goals for well-being.